Just like laughter has no calories, Mediation has no judge. Not to say that judges are bad individuals, but some of them tend to make decisions that are not in the best interest of the people involved, especially when it comes to families. I have been helping out with the Co-Parenting class here at the center for a few months now, and a little while back a parent said something that I will never forget.

She was in the process of reviewing a visitation agreement because her daughter is getting older. We all know that as we grow older more things change in our daily lifestyle and routines. The daughter had the typical child custody arrangements: Monday-Thursday with mom, and Friday-Sunday every other weekend with dad.

Well, the child asked her mom to update their agreement because the dad wasn’t willing to bend on the arrangement to allow for the daughter’s extracurricular activities. The child made a valid point when she told her parents that, “I am not a piece of furniture that you can just pick up and move whenever you want.”

That statement is why I believe judges do not always make the best decisions when it comes to families because they don’t intimately know the family or child involved in the case. They only know them on paper and as a docket number, which is why mediation is so important when it comes to resolving family disputes. Often, judges must make decisions quickly with a limited amount of information. Consequently, significant non-legal factors may not be considered in the judgment, like extracurricular activities. In mediation, the parties collaborate in reaching an agreement that satisfies everyone’s needs and concerns.

Mediation allows everyone’s voice to be heard. I am sure if the family in this particular case sat down together in mediation, the father would be able to see that it is not about him or the mother, but about what is in the best interest of the child.

-Veronica Hill