Visiting New Orleans

From November 13-17 I was in New Orleans as part of my Americorps training. In addition to going through lectures and training sessions on what it takes to be an Americorps volunteer (which was somewhat boring, although there were a few good speakers), the other trainees and I took time to visit some of the sites hit hardest by Katrina.

New Orleans is one of the saddest yet most beautiful places I’ve ever been. While there we were able to visit areas that were severely impacted by the storm and the people who were still there. After fourteen months, many people are still unable to return to their homes because of the damage from the storm and inadequate reconstruction efforts. I felt like I was visiting a third world country; the devastation was disgusting.

Additionally, the “in your face” racism and segregation was hard to swallow. We visited the home of former Klan member David Duke and were reminded by the guide that in his Senate race he received over 30% of the states’ vote. There are laws in counties that are over 70% white that only allow residents to rent out to blood relatives. New Orleans was “bad” before, but now it’s even worse, and so few people care. By the end of the week I was physically and emotionally exhausted.The sites we were able to visit left me with feelings of hope and despair. I don’t know if I’ll ever get over the images I saw or feelings I felt, but I feel like this trip has changed me forever.

Heather Mathews
Americorps Member

Mediatee Tips
Determining if your dispute can be mediated

While most kinds of civil disputes can be mediated, certain nonviolent criminal cases (such as verbal harassment and destruction of property) and cases that aren't proper for court can be mediated. That is, interpersonal disputes between roommates, coworkers, and others which don't have any sort of legal remedy can be solved via mediation. For example, if two housemates are arguing over how to maintain the household and are unable to solve the problem themselves, then mediation is a valuable tool that can help the housemates solve the problem while maintaining their relationship.

The most common cases for mediation are civil disputes, including family conflicts. This includes disputes over custody and separation, property disputes, contract disputes, landlord-tenant problems, employee-employer conflicts, neighbor-neighbor conflicts, and many more.

When considering whether your case is right for mediation, ask yourself if any of these statements apply to you:

- The law cannot provide the remedy you want

- You want to end a problem, not a relationship

- Your dispute is no one else's business and you want to keep it that way

- You want to minimize costs

- You want to settle the dispute promptly

- You want to avoid establishing a legal precedent

- You are having difficulty initiating negotiations, or lack negotiating skills

Hearing one another

I have been a certified general and family mediator for almost 7 years; however, I recently sat on the other side of the table as a mediation participant. My husband and I have separated and we chose to participate in mediation to attempt to resolve some of our disputes. Our mediator was incredibly professional and followed the process throughout. This experience renewed my belief in the power of mediation. It truly does help people to “hear” one another - even when they disagree.

Sara Foote
Arbitration Coordinator

Mediator Tips
Competence

Parties going through mediation have the right to know their mediators' qualifications as a mediator as well as what the requirements for becoming certified as a mediator. While the vast majority of mediators who have gone through the certification process are qualified, if the parties do not have faith in the mediators themselves then it will be hard to convince them of the benefits of mediation. As a result, make sure you have information about your qualifications for parties that request it; not just the certification process but how much experience you have had. Be prepared to discuss your qualifications with the parties if they are curious as to what makes you a good mediator. Make sure the parties are satisfied before starting the mediation.

Mediatee Tips
Preparing for a Mediation: Review Paperwork

If you are going to be a party in a mediation, begin preparing for your mediation by reading the rules that will govern your mediation. Most mediation services will send you a set of rules when your mediation is scheduled; if you don't get a copy, request one. Rules cover things like when and how fees are to be paid, procedures to be followed, and the degree to which the mediation will be considered and kept confidential. Here are some examples of rules that you will probably encounter:

• Evidence rules: Given that mediation is not a courtroom matter, the limits on types of evidence you can use don't apply in mediation. However, since some parties may want to bring in outside witnesses or present documents, it will be up to the mediator to decide what can be let in.
• Pre-mediation memorandum: This is a written statement for the mediator explaining your version of the facts and issues involved in a dispute. This is not always necessary.
• Confidentiality: Since the information that comes out in a mediation can be of a highly sensative or personal nature, confidentiality is essential in allowing each party to speak freely. As a result, all mediators are required to keep everything said private except in a few circumstances (which will be explained to you before the mediation). The only thing that will go back to court - if the case is court referred - is the agreement that was reached.

There are other rules that you will want to be aware of; however, if you don't have time to read through them comprehensively, the mediator will explain the important ones to you before the mediation begins.

Positions vs. Interests in Pop Culture

Listening is so important but identifying and acknowledged a person’s interest is a critical component to effective conflict resolution. I was recently reminded of this concept.

I was watching an episode of “The Cosby Show”. Bill Cosby’s character, Cliff, had borrowed his neighbor’s power drill and misplaced it in the house. When the neighbor came to reclaim his tool, he commented on how he knew he could trust Cliff to take care of his tool. Of course, Cliff now had to admit he had lost the tool and he apologized. His neighbor was distressed and began talking about how the drill had been his father’s and that whenever he used it, he was reminded of his father and the good times they had had together. Cliff was silent and the neighbor then did what so many others do when they don’t feel heard – he became more agitated, raised his voice and began complaining about other, unrelated issues, in this case that Cliff had potentially overcharged in delivering this neighbor’s children. When Cliff offered him a new drill, the neighbor got angrier and walked out.

It all made for good comedy but this situation illustrates a fundamental principle in conflict resolution that we often overlook – identifying and acknowledging the interest behind the position. On the surface, it might seem that this “Cosby Conflict” was about a lost drill. However, just below the surface, also called the position, lies the interest which was the strong sentimental value the drill held for the neighbor and the loss of trust with Cliff.

A simple acknowledgement of those two issues would have calmed the neighbor down and begun to pave the way for a solution.

On the show, Cliff finds the drill and takes back to his neighbor but in real life that happy ending doesn’t always occur.

So, remember that conflict is rarely about the position -- the “drill” or the “money”. It is about the interest and the emotions that lie under the position. You may need to look deep but the reward will be a calming of the situation and a peaceful resolution.

Karen Richards
Interim Executive Director

Mediator Tips
Closure

Whether the parties reach an agreement or not, you need to bring it to a close. This means first of all, summarizing and reviewing what happened in the mediation. State in a neutral way what the parties shared and the positions and interests each person expressed. Make sure that all parties are clear on the next steps, whether that means going back to court to solve the problem or how the agreement reached will be carried out.

If an agreement is reached, you should congratulate the parties for their work and recognize the courage they showed in finding a way to solve their problem. Go over the agreement point by point to make clear exactly what they all agree to do. Have both parties sign it and sign it yourself. Make copies for them so that they will know what the agreement was. Finally, shake hands and escort them to the door.