In the past few weeks I have learned that when there is a conflict going on between family members or friends and they DO NOT ask you for help, DON’T get involved!

My aunt and my sister were having some issues recently and I found myself automatically wanting to help them problem solve. Next thing I know I’m spending half my day back and forth on the phone with each of them trying to neutralize the harsh statements each was making about the other. It took me a while, but I realized they were not ready to work it out right now. They needed time to be mad and say ugly things that they would later regret. Eventually, after they had each calmed down (several days later), they were able to talk to each other and work out most of their problems.

I guess the point of this for me was:
1) If there is trouble brewing, stay out of it unless you are asked to help
resolve the conflict
2) Everyone has a different style of dealing with conflict. Some people can let
it drag on for days, others, like me, need it resolved before I go to bed that
night.

Problem solved, I can get some sleep now!

-Sara Foote

What to do?

I’ve been mediating for 8 years, and I still have those moments… “What to do?!”

On Friday I found myself in a mediation that started off on the wrong foot and kept on going. “What should I do?”

I summarized – that kind-of worked. I asked open and closed questions – that didn’t matter. I held up the good or used interests & positions – seemed to help one of them. I took more control over the process – that didn’t work. I abdicated control over the process – that didn’t work. I took a break – didn’t help.

Intellectually I know that mediation isn’t for everyone. But, my heart HOPES it’s for everyone. I wish there was something I could have done to change the feelings, the distrust, or the outcome in that room.

But – it’s not about I or ME, it’s about them.

That’s hard to swallow sometimes.

So… “What to do?”

Keep practicing, continued self reflection & training, and keep on mediating!

-Amanda Burbage

The little things are what make the difference. In nearly every facet of life, they are what separate greatness from mediocrity. They also have the ability to create the greatest amount of gratitude for what you no longer have access to. The latter I have found especially true in China.

Yesterday, the little things came through big for me. It is the little things I miss about America. Not being able to find push pins for example had me frustrated for quite a while. Until I saw them last night at the local store. Aaaaah, my shining beacon in the school supplies aisle. The smile lasted for two hours.

Little things are what separate us from each other. Little things keep us respectfully distant, keep us secure and keep our dreams possible. Going that extra step, taking one more look around the corner, staying one more minute.

All of these little things that occur in our lives. Our favorite radio station, cereal, efficiency in nearly every area of our lives. Too much of it is taken for granted in the states. The truth is that these little things are what keep us together, keep us stable and insure the chance to have happiness. Without them, we are gridlocked.

-Jason Clevenger

Jason was an AmeriCorps volunteer at the Center this summer. He is now in Changsha, Hunan, China teaching English. Read more about Jason's adventures in teaching on his blog at http://project7585.blogspot.com/

When I tell people I have a Bachelor’s degree in Conflict Resolution the answer is always the same, “You have a degree in what?”

I have a degree in Conflict Resolution.

The second question always follows, “Where on Earth do you get a degree in that? I didn’t even know that was a real major.”

Conflict Resolution bachelor degree programs are now offered for undergrads in 16 states, and master degree programs are offered across the United States and in several other countries worldwide. Class titles can include Mediation, Ideas of War, Nonviolence, and Gender and Conflict.

Despite popular belief, I did not just sit around Indian style with my hair in braids reading about Gandhi and singing Kumbaya. During my four years of undergraduate studies at Juniata College, I took numerous classes in Peace and Conflict Studies, Politics, and Communication Studies. I had the opportunity to travel to the Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland for a two week intensive study program on the troubles of Northern Ireland, I interned at the Northern Ireland Bureau in Washington, D.C. for a semester, and I studied abroad for a year in Derry, Northern Ireland. I worked with youth, teaching conflict resolution skills in local elementary schools, and served as an on-campus mediator. I took exams, wrote papers and spent many hours reading, studying, and experiencing reconciliation in post-conflict societies, nonviolence and mediation services. Conflict Resolution is a real major.

And the third question: “Now what exactly will you do with a degree in Conflict Resolution?”

This question is a bit more difficult to answer because there are many paths to take with a degree in Conflict Resolution. Some people go into social work, others into politics. Some choose international organizations like the United Nations, others choose small non-profits like Community Mediation Center. I have friends with Conflict Resolution degrees serving in the Peace Corps, working for Congressmen in Washington, and serving as mediators and case managers for different organizations throughout the United States, South America and the Middle East. Conflict is everywhere in life, from within the home to the international arena, and the options for working within the field of Conflict Resolution are just as broad.

My name is Megan and I’m the new Americorps VISTA volunteer here at CMC, working with youth programs. I’m going to use my degree to help children and teenagers learn to communicate effectively with their peers, parents, friends and siblings, and I am ready to take on the next series of dubious inquiries. “You work where? You do what?”

-Megan Carpenter

Do you know about the AmeriCorps Program? I didn’t know much about the program until I came to the Community Mediation Center last year. Now I am such a supporter as I see what a difference these volunteers make in the nonprofit organizations and the communities they serve. According to their website, AmeriCorps offers 75,000 opportunities for adults of all ages and backgrounds to serve through a network of partnerships with local and national nonprofit groups each year.

The CMC has participated in the AmeriCorps program for several years and worked with many talented and enthusiastic individuals. They help us in so many ways- from managing our mediation services to working with our youth programs to leading many of our proactive community activities. Each individual brings such a wide array of skills, interests, talent and passions that has truly supported our mission.

Our dedicated staff, amazing volunteers, and active board are wonderful. But I am so honored to also have this experience of working with the AmeriCorps volunteers. Although these volunteers typically work with an organization for one year, their contributions are long lasting. Our current AmeriCorps volunteers work in youth, community outreach, volunteer services and mediation services. So much of what we offer our community could not be done without their support. Many of our current staff directors started as AmeriCorps and are by far the most dedicated talented individuals I have ever worked with. The majority of AmeriCorps volunteers, however, move on to graduate school, law school and other service positions, continuing to serve their communities.

We benefit from their service and once their year is done, they are advocates in the community for conflict resolution. Everyone wins from this partnership. So I thank our AmeriCorps volunteers, past and present. It is hard to see you leave but know that your contributions to the Community Mediation Center are so appreciated. You truly have made a difference in our lives and our community..

-Kim Humphrey
Executive Director