I recently did a 12-week training with kids currently involved in gangs. As a mediator, one of my goals was to help them explore their interests in living the gang lifestyle and hopefully give them the opportunity to find new ways to fulfill those interests.Our most powerful sessions involved conversations regarding the difference between fear and respect.
The kids were clear about their need for respect. Most of their actions were aimed at getting others to respect them and recognize them as individuals that matter in this world. However, as we explored their actions, they were slowly able to recognize their current belief that fear and respect mean the same thing. Their violent actions led people to clearly fear them, and therefore (they thought) respect them.
Once the kids were able to identify the clear differences between fear and respect, their interests were no longer able to met through their violent acts. It was time to brainstorm new behaviors that would earn them the respect they desired!! It was time to change!!
Andrea Palmisano
Youth Programs Director
3 comments:
If someone asked me what would I prefer, to be feared or respected; many years ago I would have asked what the difference between the two is.
This is a common problem which is a result of living in a society where fear is the key element that keeps most people in line; this is true of religions, governments, etc.
The thing these kids (and most of the children in charge) need to learn is that fear can be overcome; and when that happens, the only thing that's going to keep others from giving them the thumping they deserve is respect. How do you earn respect? How about by giving it to others.
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