Last week, in honor of National Conflict Resolution Day, I had the opportunity to do a brief introduction to conflict resolution to 4th and 5th grade students at a local elementary school. I asked them questions like “what words do you think of when you hear the word conflict?”, “how does conflict make you feel?” and “how do you resolve conflict in your own life?”. I must admit I was shocked by the complexity and contemplation behind the answers I received.

When asked for words relating to conflict, the students’ answers ranged from fight and argument to war and divorce. As to be expected, I got feeling words like angry and mad, but I also heard frustrated, confused, abandoned, ignored, embarrassed, dishonest and disrespectful. And when asked how they resolve conflict, the students’ answers varied; some ignore it, some yell into a pillow, others play video games or talk to their friends and family. Not a single student said they go directly to the source and talk to the person they are in conflict with.

Peer mediation is being introduced to this school, and this program will allow students the opportunity to talk directly to the person they are in conflict with in a safe, friendly, confidential and violence-free environment. The 4th and 5th graders I spoke to definitely knew a lot more about conflict than I had imagined…and definitely knew a lot less about conflict resolution than I had hoped.

-Megan Carpenter