Going to the chart

Sometimes, putting information on flip charts in mediation can dramatically shift the attention of the clients from each other to concentrating on the issues. I've been involved in three mediations where the technique worked to help clients focus on the work that needed to be done and not each other's history.

In one, two sisters were arguing over the care of their elderly mother. One sister thought the other, who was living with the mother, was not doing a good job and was gone for long periods of time, leaving their elderly parent alone. They kept repeating their history to each other and the issues between them, often talking at the same time. My co-mediator went to the chart and asked them if they wanted their mother to be healthy as long as possible. They agreed. Then they were asked if they wanted their mom to stay in her home as long as possible. They agreed. Already, two points of agreement were on the chart. The focus shifted to my co-mediator standing by the chart and the points of agreement on it. They stopped looking at and talking to each other and placed their attention on the chart. It wasn't long before they had worked out a schedule of who would care for their mom and when.

In another case, separating parents spent much of the fiirst part of the mediation blaming each other for the breakup. The discussion seemed to bog down, when my co-mediator went to the chart and listed five issues they had identified. My co-mediator then checked three points where they had come to an agreement. The co-mediator then praised the clients on coming to agreements on those points and noted there were only two more issues to discuss. Eventually, they came to an agreement on all the issues, largely because they could "see" progress in the discussion.

A third case involved a couple who had separated and were trying to untangle their joint finances and debt. Again they got into their personal history and issues with each other, until my co-mediator went to the chart and started listing dollar amounts. I'm not very good with numbers but even I could see they were only a couple of hundred dollars apart. Unfortunatly, they could not see it and continued to re-hash their history until she abruptly left the room.
It doesn't work all the time, but the chart is a useful tool to help crystalize the issues and track progress on them.

Chuck Hardwick