Mediator Tips
Thomas-Kilman Conflict Styles

Here's a useful tool that we use at the Center in our trainings to help people understand the causes and mannerisms of conflict. It is a way of measuring the various ways in which individuals handle conflict, and it categorizes them into 5 different types: competing, avoiding, compromising, collaborating, and accomodating. Here are their meanings:

• Competing: High assertiveness and low cooperativeness. The goal is to "win."
• Avoiding: Low assertiveness and low cooperativeness. The goal is to "delay."
• Compromising: Moderate assertiveness and moderate cooperativeness. The goal is to "find a middle ground."
• Collaborating: High assertiveness and high cooperativeness. The goal is to "find a win-win solution."
• Accommodating: Low assertiveness and high cooperativeness. The goal is to "yield."

People don't fall into only one category, but rather have a grade in each. For example, someone can have a high number in competing and compromising, a middle number in collaborating, and a lot number in accomodating and avoiding.

As a mediator, it is important to understand this chart and use it in a mediation to figure out how your various clients deal with conflict. Once you understand how they will deal with conflict, you can work with them to reach a solution.