Mediator Tips

Parables of Mediation

There are many great stories that illustrate the fundamental principles and value of mediation. One that we tell in our training which reveals the difference between interests and positions is about a librarian who comes across two people bickering about whether or not to have the window open. She asks the first one why he wants the window open, and he says "Because it's hot." She asks the second one why he wants it closed, and he says "To avoid a draft." The librarian thinks for a moment, and then goes into the next room to open the window in there. Returning to the table where the men sit, she says "Now both of your problems have been solved."

Different cultures have developed parables and tales that illustrate other valuable aspects of mediation. I want to share two with you. The first one is about how people who stick to incorrect assumptions in the face of facts often find themselves in trouble. Here it is:

"An old Chinese tale tells of the same advice given by two different men after the wall of his home was damaged by heavy rains. His neighbor advised him to repair the wall quickly in order to protect himself from thieves who might come in the night. He suspected his neighbor’s motives and failed to make the necessary preparations. Later, his son gave him the same warning, whereupon he took the advice but could not complete the job before nightfall. When thieves did come in the night, the rich man continued to suspect his neighbor’s motives but concluded that his son had indeed been smart. "

The second discusses how sticking to assumptions can blind you to the facts. Here it is:

"Another Chinese story tells of a man who lost his axe and insisted that his neighbor’s speech, dress and behavior identified him as the thief. The man subsequently found his axe buried under dirt in his own cellar. And when he next saw his neighbor, there was nothing different about the neighbor’s speech, dress and behavior. "

Not surprisingly, the principles of mediation have been shared by even ancient civilizations.